What I could have been - San Bernardino, CA - May 2008

I need to start by saying I really love my job, but a few nights ago at dinner, as I sat by myself in a gigantic booth that would seat six, it occurred to me that I might have been good at several lines of work that I never even considered.

Upon my arrival at about 5:45pm I was seated at my luxurious booth and I noticed I was directly across from the sweetest little old couple. They smiled at me as I sat down and I smiled back thinking, ‘I love old people!’ This got me to thinking. I really could have been a retirement community activities coordinator! I really like old people. I used to play scrabble with a group of ladies all over the age of 75 and LOVED it! I’m not by any means calling these women old. I wouldn’t dare put it past these crazy cats (Mabel especially!) to learn how to use a computer, become a wiz at e-mail, join Face book, invite me to be their friend, (notice I am not saying ask me I they can be my friend), discover that I have this blog, and read it. If upon reading, they find their name and the word ‘old’, or any other seniorly affiliated reference; they will personally come to my house and spank my behind! But seriously, I would have loved to do something like that. This little old couple was celebrating an anniversary and by the time I was ordering my meal they had finished their shared cheese cake with strawberry topping and paid the check with a gift certificate from their grandchildren. He was helping her to her walker and they were shuffling out the door by six o’clock. SO CUTE!!!

I also think I could have been a food critique or a restaurant reviewer! My husband sometimes gives me a hard time for being so critical when we are eating out, but really, if I am spending $30 to $50 on a dinner out, I don’t think it is too much to ask for someone to have reasonably good service and good food. I was taken to my table by the manager and I literally waited eight min. for someone to take my drink order and he only took it because I stopped him and asked him to take my drink order! Another reason that it occurred to me last night that I could be a restaurant reviewer is because I was eating by myself. When I was flying from Denver, CO to Onterio, CA, they played the movie Ratatui (Yippee!) and the food critique always ate by himself. Granted, I generally don’t have his sour puss face and grumpy disposition, but sometimes I am that critical, especially when they forget the ranch dressing for my stake fries that I asked for three times.

Okay, moving on. For the last couple of years, I have been confident that I could be an M-1 medical student. I loved helping my husband study by making up cheers for pharmacology drugs…

“Dantrrolene it makes no heat,
but for malignant Hypothermia it can’t be beat!”

and

“Doctor makes the call
to use Propaphal.
From head to feat,
It will make you sleep.”

I’d like to point out that I don’t think I could have successfully made it through medical school, it is way too hard! Also, I am not that patient nor am I a very good test taker, but I really think I would have made a really great first year medical student, except for Gross. I thought it was really interesting exploring the bones in the bone box that resided in my dining room for about 4 months, but the formaldehyde smell and actual touching of a dead body is way more then I could handle.

The next one really didn’t have anything to do with my dinner last night, but while thinking about possible careers this one occurred to me.

Having just recently watched Nancy Drew a couple of weeks earlier, (Loved it!) and because of the fact that I have above average hearing, my next possible career choice would definitely have to be a detective or a gossip columnist, both of which I think would require the same sort of skill set. Now some people, like my husband, might say that this is not a skill, it’s just being nosey, but I’m not too sure. You make the call.

Oh well, all of this really is irrelevant, I am what I am, a technical writer for a fortune 300 company, Funny, it really is EXACTLY what I wanted to be when I graduated from college which really is pretty cool. One day I would like to add the title of “Mom” to my resume…

Hummm, it’s funny, now that I think about it, all of those skills I mentioned above, working with people, knowing the “in’s” and “out’s” of food, medical skills, having above average hearing and being a super detective, the skills that would have contributed to the above careers I think are really all requirements for being a mom. Interesting…

Till Next Time,
Bon Voyage

A Good Healthy In Flight Cry – somewhere between San Bernardino, CA and Las Vegas, NV (by way of Denver, CO…)

(Don't ask! I really got JACKED by the Travel Dept.)

Note to Reader: This may verge on the edge of girlie, so to any boy readers out there please read on, because this may help you understand the women in your life a little better. =)

The conclusion of my most recent read and my most recent travel assignment coincided somewhere in the skies over Colorado I believe. The trip was a workshop tour in our Inland Valley region and the read was the latest Jennifer Weiner novel Certain Girls which is a follow up novel to her first novel Good in Bed (not too dirty I promise). To all of you that enjoy a good laugh and a story about a girl that really in more than one way could be exactly you, this is a MUST READ!!! Without revealing anything too important, the end of this book did a completely wonderful one eighty from where I thought it was going and in turn, had me in tears at 35,000 feet. I was so completely engrossed in the life events of Cannie Shapiro and her daughter Joy Shapiro Krushelevansky that I didn’t realize hat due to one of those events, I was whole heartedly crying, full sobbs, in my row 25 window seat A. Thank goodness seat B was empty, but that having been said, C, the aisle seat was occupied by an older gentleman in a suit who I am sure thought I was going through some sort of crisis.

I had my folded up drink napkin in my hand, arms crossed across my chest, head leaning against the double pained port hole window when the man taps me on the arm and he says, in just above a whisper, “is everything okay?”

I quickly pull my ear buds from my ear and in an attempt to be graceful wipe my eyes and nose and clear my throat. “Oh yeah, I’m fine, I’m just listening to the end of a really great book. And well…” I said trying to choke back the emotion of the last fifteen min. “someone died. And well…” I continued trying to desperately keep it together. “It was just really upsetting.” I said as the tears began to flow again. “Shoot! I hate being a girl sometimes!” I sniffed as I folded the already soaked napkin and dabbed at my eyes again.

He grinned and reached into his inside jacket pocket (the same pocket they reach for in the movies when they want to shoot their crazy airplane seat mate), and produced a travel sized package of Kleenex (WITH LOTIAN!!!) and handed it to me. “When my baby girl was pregnant with her baby girl I got into the habit of carrying these cause she would cry at everything.” He chuckled a little and added “especially the songs on our town’s country music station. Kenny Chesney’s There Goes My Life was the worst!” We both laughed. “I think you women have it hard. He said looking up at the ceiling of the airplane. “Ya’ll all have so much caring inside you for everyone else. My wife says that every good woman deserves a good healthy cry every once in a while to keep herself from exploding and I think she’s right.” He looked at me with his sparkely wise old eyes and smiled "I'll let you get back to your book."

I took one of the Kleenex and tried to hand them back and he refused “Keep ‘em in case you go exploding on any of your other flights. We both burst out laughing “Thanks!” I said and I returned my ear buds to my ears.

I ended up needing that entire package before the book was complete and now I keep a couple of those travel packs one for me and one to give away to other “good Women” like myself.

Till Next Time,
Bon Voyage

My Crafty Diaper Cake!!!

OK Here's the proof...

The Diaper Cake I made for Amy's baby shower (with Jeremy's help)!!!

It still surprised me that it came out as good as it did. Maybe one day I will craft again! I've already got a few ideas of different things I can do for the next Diaper Cake. I'm not sure I'm good enough yet for a cookie bouquet, but this really gives me hope! =)

Till Next Time,
Bon Voyage

P.S. See post below, "I Just Might Be Crafty" for more info.

American Idol 2008 - The end is here!

Well the results are in and the winner is David Cook!!!

YAHOO!!! This show has been a staple of my travels this year. No matter where I am in the country on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (and earlier in the year Thursdays) American Idol was there and made me feel a little closer to home.

With all of the Hallmark moments aside, I am SUPER STOKED that I actually picked the winner this year! Now I can’t wait for his album to come out! I hope it’s as good as or better than Daughtry's!

Till Next Time,
Bon Voyage

I Just Might Be Crafty! - May 2008

Note to Reader: I am side stepping a little from literal travel here and moving in the direction of figurative travel. This is a sort of “right of passage” story on my way to becoming a more well rounded (not ROUND!!!) woman. So this is more of a life journey rather than a road trip.

OK, so I’ve never really thought of myself as a “crafty” person, “creative” maybe, but “crafty” nah…, but lately I’m finding myself surrounded by obscenely crafty people. They make clothing for little children that aren’t even theirs. They make perfect little tiny crocheted shoes for perfect little tiny babies! They make burp cloths and blankets for expectant mothers, cookie bouquets for birthday girls, recycled grocery sacks (both ironed and braded)… and more. Anyhow, being friends with these girls has a tendency to make me feel like I am under achieving and as though I need to definitely be doing more.

All of this crafting pushed me a few weekends ago to start searching for a project to prove myself among these super crafty women. I looked high & low, and far & wide for such an occasion that would require the need of my craft… (By the way, at this particular point in time I had no idea what the heck my craft would be. However, I was positive that talking someone’s ear off and texting would not qualify as a craft worthy of display at any event in the near future.) As I sat studying my calendar an idea jumped into my head! I literally felt electricity shoot through my mind!!! If I could pull this one off I just might make it into the rookie crafter’s Hall of Fame! My good friend Amy’s baby shower was scheduled for May 10th and that would be the day that I’d make my crafting debut with the most AWESOME diaper cake the world has ever seen!

PAUSE! Additional Note to Reader: I know that the words Diaper, Awesome, and Cake probably don’t appear together in the same sentence very often, but these “cakes” although not edible are simply amazing. I was inspired by my friend Kristin because of the cake that she made for another friend’s shower that looked incredible and she really made it sound pretty easy. So with that, I embarked on my first serious crafting adventure.

So I don’t know if this is the right way, but this is my recipe for a three tiered diaper cake ha ha… that turned into four! =)

Kristin said that the cake was really just a large package of diapers, lots of rubber bands of assorted sizes, and some. ribbon. Other than that the diaper cake is really what you want to make of it. You can make it as simple or as extravagant as you like. So with husband in toe (primarily to keep my spending in check) we hit the super Target for the needed supplies. Kristin had said “a large package of diapers, so I found the largest package of diapers in the whole store, which was a box of 154 swaddlers for 7-10lbs babies. This would prove to be more than enough diapers! =) Then a quick stop in the office supplies and the to gift wrap for ribbon. I got one spool of ribbon and had a small crisis when I ran out, but thanks to my husband, who we discovered had a hidden talent for splitting ribbon perfectly, we actually doubled the length of ribbon and every thing worked just fine. Then we were off to the baby supplies section of the store.a couple of pacifiers, a bottle, some hats, onzies, and bibs, and a baby first aid kit that was approved by the Red Cross. Oh and I almost forgot the softest little green froggie blanket buddy that literally jumped into our cart and refused to leave. (What are you going to do!?)

The assembly was definitely a challenge but remember, I am not that crafty. I snapped myself about 30 times with rubber bands. I kept launching diapers across the dining room like a sling shot which sent my kitty cats scrambling for cover then returning to investigate the ammunition. I had to ask for assistance from Jeremy about 5 times, so really the credit for this cake is actually half his. After about four hours of assembly, disassembly, and then reassembly, searching You Tube for an instructional video, then disassembly, and then the final reassembly, the result was really AWESOME! I can honestly say that I am impressed that I actually created something that cool and useful!!!

Till Next Time,
Bon Voyage

P.S. These Diaper cake photos aren't the cake that I made. I'm waiting to get photos of my cake, because I forgot to take my own pics before I left the house. I'll post them as soon as I get them =)

Is it Noise Pollution or Ministry? – April 2008

Walk with me… or in this case ride. You know you been there, driving down the road minding your own business. Maybe you’re on your way to work or to drop the kids off at day care (and when I say kids, please understand that I am including pets that are dropped off at day care… not joking, I have more than one friend that makes that stop each morning and they pay dearly out the you-know-what for it too). You roll to a stop light and are trying not to make eye contact with the multitude of goobers that are crossing the street and staring into your car and not watching where they are going. Oops… the guy in the crusty jean jacket just bumped into the lady who is chowing down on what appears to be a skillet burrito from the golden arches and I can almost taste the hash browns that I know for a fact are tucked safely in the red and white paper bag that’s poking out of the top of her gym bag.

Gradually, but noticeably, I begin to feel a vibration. For a split second my hard drops and I think to myself, ‘Oh no, this is the big one! What about Jeremy. Where is he today, will he be able to duck and cover… or is he supposed to hide under a desk… or are you supposed to get in a hall way and put your head between your knees… or is this the natural disaster that you are supposed to find an over pass and get underneath it…. Or do I find an interior bathroom … or is it a door way… Man I am so not prepared for this!!! Shoot!!! I knew I shouldn’t have left those dirty dishes in the sink!”

Pause… Note to reader: I have never encountered an earthquake I could feel, or even a trimmer or an after shock, but in my minds eye, this is what it would feel like.

Just before I start hyperventilating and begin searching in the glove box for a pin and a napkin on which to write my last will and testament, I notice, to my left, out of the corner of my eye, a bright yellow SUPER SIZED hummer with chrome accents! Not the gas friendly, soccer mom sized, cute one, but the gigantic one that takes up a lane and a half. The ‘Pimp My Ride” stereo system with complimenting LCD’s in the head rest are not only shaking everything that belongs to them, It is shaking everything that belongs to me (inside and out), the car next to me, the crusty jean jacket man and golden arches girl! There is a mother on the other side of the street clutching her toddler in her arms pressing one of his ears to her chest and covering the other with her free hand. “Is this legal?!!!” I shout to myself out loud.

Note to reader: It must be known that I am a lover really of all music, but my pre-sets are generally K-Love (contemporary Christian music), FM 100 (top 40), or new country. On this particular morning though, it was K-Love and the song was Jeremy Camp’s You’re Worthy of My Praise.

So there I was… sitting at the stop light with my fingers in my ears not even able to hear myself think much less hear my own radio, when it dawns on me that three can play at this game! Mr. Pimp My Ride and his environment eating hummer machine, little me and Moose, and The Man Upstairs, so hear goes nothin’!

I give a quick glance to the yellow monstrosity who’s windows are tinted so dark that I am sure it’s illegal, and say a quick prayer. With a couple of quick presses, the sun roof slides open and the tail gate window slides down. I gently bite my lower lip and commit. I press my thumb to the [UP] volume button that resides on the left side of my steering wheel and up, up, up goes Jeremy Camp.

“I will give you all my worship

I will give you all my praise

You alone I long to worship

You alone are worthy of my praise”

I look to my left still just a black window, I look to my right and the man in the blue Honda next to me is still hanging onto his steering wheel with all of his might.

Again, I gently bite my lower lip and press the [UP] volume button and again, up, up, up goes Jeremy Camp.

“I will worship with all of my heart

I will praise you with all of my strength

I will seek you all of my days

I will follow all of your ways

I will give you all my worship

I will give you all my praise

You alone I long to worship

You alone are worthy of my praise

You are worthy of my praise "

Oh, ooh the man in the Honda is looking my way and grinning and giving me the thumbs up. I grin back and with my new found courage I press the [UP] button again.

I will bow down and I'll hail you as king

I will serve you, I will give you everything

I will lift up my eyes to your throne

I will trust you, I will trust you alone

I will give you all my worship

I will give you all my praise

You alone I long to worship

You alone are worthy of my praise

You are worthy, You are worthy

You are worthy of my praise

By this point I am dancing in my seat and singing at the top of my lungs at the longest light in the city of Memphis, not really caring who hears me. I look to my right and Honda man, Crusty, and golden arches are head bobbing to the beat. I look to my left and the hummer expecting to see my own reflection in the glass, but his window has been rolled down. It really was a priceless moment like the first time your husband caught you in your underpants singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T (or some other I am woman hear me roar song) into your hair brush. (Don’t say you’ve never done it!)

I quickly press and hold the [Down] button returning Mr. Camp to just below what would be considered a respectful volume level and the man in the bright yellow sunshine eating machine shouts over to me, “Hey!!! What music is that?”

“Jeremy Camp” I say with a little less courage than before.

He nods and looks away but doesn’t roll up his window.

A couple of moments pass and from somewhere deep within me I hear my self blurting out “It’s 94.9, you can listen if you want to. What happened next is completely true, and far beyond my wildest imagination. Within moments Jeremy Camp was coming from both of our stereos

“Oh, I will give you all my worship

I will give you all my praise

You alone I long, I long to worship

Well, you alone are worthy of my praise
You are worthy of my praise."

Till Next Time,
Bon Voyage!

Catalytic Converters... Who knew!!!??? - Supplement

I have been asked by a few people to tell them what exactly I thought a Cadillac Converter did. So to send myself even further onto the automotive knowledge short bus, here goes.

I honestly thought that a Cadillac Converter had something to do with the California emissions laws. I remember as a child in the summer my sisters and I would watch The Price is Right while our nanny, Cat, talked to her boyfriend on the phone and read romance novels with Fabio on the cover. Whenever it came to the showcase showdown and they got to the car they would always say...


"You could win A BRAND NEW CAR!!! THIS 1987 Cadillac Allante could be yours! Some of its features include leather seats, air conditioning, power windows and locks, power steering, a standard transmission, Cadillac Converter California Emissions, AM/FM radio 5 speaker stereo system and wood grain accents." How glamorous! I didn’t know what half of that stuff was but I was sure of one thing whatever it was I wanted it, along with an easy bake oven, the My Little Pony Home Sweet Home Stable (which apparently now is advertised on E-Bay and Craig’s list as VINTAGE… hummm does that make me vintage also???!!!), the original leader of the Transformers Optimus Prime for my very own (I wanted that one so bad that I called the Transformers hotline and talked to him for 23 mins… a 900 number… and got into so much trouble that my parents took cable away from my entire family and actually, come to think of it, never got it back.), and to never ever ever have to buy school lunch again… except on pizza day!

So maybe it wasn’t the smartest thought, but I knew that out in California, where all of the famous people lived they always got fancy things, things made especially for them. They were the mavens, the trend setters. They are the reason I wore leg warmers with tennis shoes. They invented the side pony tail and jean jackets. Who was I to say that they couldn’t invent an entire part for a car to take all of their sunshine super star rays and convert them into something cool to fuel cars?

So there you go. That’s the truth with no poetic license taken.

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!