Mar 14, 2010

Just Wait Until... - Memphis, TN - March 2010

Note To Reader: Just a quick apology to those of you that aren't really interested in hearing about me being pregnant. Don't forget that this blog is pretty much a window into my brain and at the moment that's what's on my mind.

So in the last few weeks I've had about a hundred people begin a statement with the following three words... "Just wait until..." followed by some terrifying detail from either their own pregnancy, the pregnancy of a friend, their wife's pregnancy, or the crazy crap they've seen on that TLC show A Baby Story. I've found that the ones from women that are actually pregnant themselves are really the worst and most difficult to swallow. Don't forget, the only book I've read cover to cover thus far is Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy.

"Oh you're only 27 weeks pregnant, just wait until you're 35 weeks like me and you...
...can't sleep.
...can only eat small amounts of food at a time
...can't poop.
...have swollen feet and your arches have fallen.
...have a rash
...have been to the hospital three times with false labor.
...start laughing at some one's joke and pee all over yourself IN PUBLIC!
...fart all the time.!

Then there are the stories from the husbands after the baby was born.

"When little Johnny was born they used that sucker thing on him to try to get him out of her "you know what". It sounded like they were sucking his brains out. We were so scared.

"When we were in the delivery room she just pooped on herself straight into this giant trash bag at the end of the table. I guess it happens to everyone but it's GROSS!"

"We thought throughout the entire pregnancy that she was just having one baby, then in the delivery room out popped two!"

"Oh yeah she went into labor at work! Her water broke right there in the middle of the break area"!

"Oh yeah that's right Jane was born in an elevator and delivered by a biker guy named Butch."

Why on Earth would you tell a first time mother-to-be these sorts of stories. To scare the crap out of her? Really...? If so mission accomplished, but really I think that may go without saying. Maybe it's to show the mother-to-be that scary stuff happens, but they made it through and their baby turned out just fine. I guess we'll know in about 12 weeks when we're living through and then sharing our story.

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!


Natari said...

this was really interesting =D

Mano Rennt said...

:) you're funny! :)

Just wait 'til they're teenagers :)



Lo said...

LOL!!! We tell these stories to warn you that it's usually not the way you "plan" it but it's always perfect! Love you sister dear...and yes the vacuum sucker thing still freaks mr. mine out!