Oct 28, 2008

No kids allowed!!! - Atlanta, GA - October 2008

Note to Reader: I have achieved total success in this “keeping your ear to the ground” for good blog material stuff. My hubby called me while he waited in the Atlanta Airport with this little nugget of FUN!!!

So there he was, chillin’ at his gate waiting on his flight home, when from across the way, the gate attendant from the adjacent terminal (which was bound for good old ORLANDO, FL!!!!) came over the loud speaker with an announcement that rocked their world…

…”Ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome you to flight # 1234 with nonstop service to Orlando, FL. I wanted to make a quick announcement so that you can prepare accordingly.” …short pause for suspense… “Due to the nature of Orlando being a family oriented destination, we have elected to not board children on this flight.”

Well, according to my hub, it only took a moment for a look of shock to roll over the faces of all the little ones that had visions of gigantic characters, Space Mountain, and plastic ears that for one week’s time will be permanently attached to the tops of their precious little heads. Then just a moment before the children began to revolt, he said that you could see the parents faces as they first almost jumped for joy at the thought of having to send their small ones to grandma’s house while they went off and relived to their childhood, and then second, watched the terror of the situation at hand set in.

The buzz in the gate area grew from a mumble to a thunder. Then two angry soccer moms (or hockey moms) stormed the counter with their lawyer looking husbands in toe. In less than a minute, a frightened looking woman, voice shaking through her forced laughter, came back over the loud speaker and issued the following correction…

“Ladies and gentlemen, my sincere apologies for the previous announcement. What I meant to say was, we have elected to not PRE board children on this flight.” A massive cheer and a throng of laughter broke through the tension in the air and the woman behind the counter breathed a deep sigh of relief.

The Hub and I don’t think she could possibly have realized how close she was to a scene out of Lord of the Flies. According to the Hub the grown ups were totally out numbered and those little monsters could have totally taken over and with their video gaming experience could have flown the plane down there to meet “The Mouse” all on their own.

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!

Oct 21, 2008

Something You Should Never Do In Public… EVER!!! - Terrell, TX – October 2008

Note to reader: Okay… Today is LITERALLY my first day back on the road after about a 2 and a half month break and tonight at dinner, material just fell into my lap. It was like the gates of blogger heaven opened up and gave me the most excellent “Season Premier”!!! Better than Gray’s or The Office, or even the Closer or Bones.

So there we were enjoying our dinner, I guess there were about eight of us, filling our tummies with chips and salsa… (When close to Mexico, do as the close to Mexicans do… Best Guacamole I’ve had since at my sister’s last pool party). Anyhow, throughout dinner, we’ve observed a couple, particularly the young lady of the couple, at the table across from is who has consumed more than a hand full of margaritas. She is growing ever more friendly with the gentleman she’s with. Then, without warning, “The Dare” carries over the restaurant (or at least our general area and without much notice) this girl and her guy leap from the table and the following takes place.

Additional note to reader: I have covered the faces to protect all parties involved.

Yes that’s a high chair and yes she is at least 21 years of age… A GROWN WOMAN for goodness sake!!!

Yes that is the grown woman, with the aide of her man, attempting to climb into the high chair.

And yes, after much drama and trauma, and the removal and replacing of a four inch high healed boot, that is the same GROWN WOMAN lodged into said high chair!!!

I mean seriously, I don’t make this stuff up... It finds me!!!

Till next time,

Oct 19, 2008

More Fun Signs - October 2008

Note to Reader: I will be hitting the road again soon, so I will soom have more funny stories from the road, but for now, you're stuck with my silliness! =)

So here are some funny signs that I've encountered since my request for funny signage.

If you've been reading for any period of time you'll know that this sign holds a place in mine and my dear husband's heart.

It is the name of our 2005 Toyota 4 Runner, and it goes without saying that where ever this sign is located, it looks like their are a lot more where he came from.

I imagine Stephen King would say it has to be on TR-90 somewhere,, but my hub says it's got to be in Colorado or Montana.

I'm not sure, but think both are great guesses.

This one is a little more difficult, and I might need your help.

It could mean:
1. Beware of riding your bike with only one tire!
2. Look out for big old gaps in the road!

It looks like some punk on a one wheeled bike already hit this sign. Has anyone seen this sign before?

What the heck does it mean. Even if you don't know... take a guess... or make something up... that might be more funny!!! =)

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!

Oct 17, 2008

My Brother the Marine – Outside San Francisco, CA – October 2008

At this time last year, my little brother graduated from Boot Camp at Parris Island, SC and became a United States Marine. What an experience! I have never been more proud of him, but I am sure in the coming months and years of his service to our country, he will out do himself. He is brave and his Marine Corp brothers think the world of him.

So when we found out several months ago that he would be shipping to Afghanistan with these men although my heart was worried, my head knows that there are no other people on earth I would rather him be serving with. Since they are my brother’s brothers, they are also my brothers.

So, last night he called from CA to fill us in on his assignment for his deployment. Get this… he is going to be his Units K-9 handler!!! How cool is that???!!! He will meet his dog soon and is SUPER pumped. I’ll keep you all posted on their progress.

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!

Oct 15, 2008

The Adventures! – October 2008

Note To Reader: Another intellectual journey follows… look out!!!

This was my first journey into the world of Mark Twain and my goodness, what an adventure it was. Two books that look into the minds of boys and show you some of the most untouchable social issues through their eyes. I caught myself on several occasions cupping my hand over my mouth at the language that they used, and then having to remind myself that these are very much period books and in turn what makes them great is that they are true to both the time they were written and the time the author is attempting to portray.

These books were laugh out loud funny, predictably unpredictable, and they make your heart melt all at the same time.

I found that I kept putting myself in Tom or Huck’s shoes (which most of the
time they weren’t wearing) and asking if I would… tell the sisters about the crooks or if I would run away to an island with my two best friends on earth only to find out that while I was away, my family planned my funeral. Their bravery was never thought out, and nor did they recognize it as such when they stumbled into it.

Not that you needed me to tell you, the millions of books sold does a completely wonderful job of it, but “Well Done Mr. Twain! Well Done!!!

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!

Oct 14, 2008

A Sight for Sore Eyes! - October 2008

Hmmm... Haven't we seen this before?

I got an e-mail from one of my co-workers that contained this picture... In case you missed or don't remember my previous post about this vehicle, click here.

This is one of the parking lots where I work! Either this person is a “Zoner”… or he or she is following me! I'm not sure which of these is more troubling???

I should have a contest to see who can find this car in the strangest location. The car wash... The laundry matt... Tailgating at a football game... Oooh maybe the drive-in movies!!! We could call it the search for the pea green giant tire machine contest!!!

Till Next Time,
Bon Voyage!!!

Oct 13, 2008

Holy Bajolies!!! - Milan, TN - October 2008

Note to Reader: I have to give this blog a disclaimer… it contains complementary material about XXX-Mart!

On the way home from Clarksville yesterday I saw this sign and even though we had three quarters of a tank of gas we stopped and filled up. Seriously, how can you pass up gas under $3!

Even though I never imagined a time that I would cheer about gas being in the $2.80’s, yesterday was the day. Thank you XXX-Mart for having cheap gas I guess the power of the giant isn’t all bad. Or maybe it is and I am just turning a blind eye. Either way, $2.86 a gallon was something to write home about.

Additional Note to Reader: Totally off topic, you can see my new Old Navy hoodie in the reflection… So Comfy and $6.00 on clearance!!!

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!

Oct 11, 2008

Gone Country!!! - Clarksville TN - October 2008

Note to Reader: I AM A CITY GIRL!!! I love to be in the country, but I'd prefer that the country not try to interact with me while I am there. Bugs, dirt, bugs, snakes, bugs, wild things, and did I mention bugs... especially the ones that are tiny and look harmless, but will actually eat you alive the moment you turn your back!

I saw this sign and it really tickled me! Only in the country!. What signs tickle you?

Till Next time,
Bon Voyage!

Oct 5, 2008

"Lucy, you got some splainin' to do!" - September 2008

Okay, it's been a good two weeks since my last real post, so I suppose a little splainin' is due.

I have three letters N.S.M.

After literally MONTHS of preparation our National Sales Meeting rolled into town the week before last and camped out. It occupied the greater part of my waking, and should be sleeping hours. This was also the case for many others that I work with until it concluded late Thursday evening.

All of Friday was used for recovery. Not only did I sleep like a rock all Thursday night, I think I took a grand total of three naps throughout the day on Friday. Needless to say, when Saturday rolled around I was well rested and ready to hit the town with my favorite person on Earth… My husband! I also had the chance to reflect on the week. While there were a lot of interesting stories to tell, there is one that stands out as completely blog worthy!

With 1,200 of our highest performing employees brought in from the far corners of the United States, each evening played host to an event designed for team building and to celebrate the accomplishments of the year. Although each evening was an absolute blast, Wednesday is the night I will tell you a little bit about.

So there I was making my way from our parking Garage to the local NBA Basketball arena dressed in a Mossimo tee, my most comfy blue jeans, and my favorite and most tattered pair of flip flops, a simple pair of black J. Crews I bought on the fly before spring break my sophomore year in college.

All is well until I hit the steps and feel a tugging on the back of my shoe, a snap and then the cold tile of the Forum floor on the bottom of my right foot. I turned to find my good friend Rodney red faced and holding the afore mentioned 8 year old flip flop in his hand.

"You broke my shoe" I said to him.

"I did" he replied, face even more red now than before.

“You broke my shoe!" I repeated with a slight tinge of panic in my voice. I had the rest of the evening in front of me, the gift shop was not open, and there were NO extra shoes anywhere within arm reach.

"I know!" his voice adapting the same frantic tinge. His eyes brightened “you can have mine!”
for a moment, we both stared down at his black lace up boots and I am almost sure we both imagined his size 4000’s on my size 5 feet. I shook my head slowly from side to side.

"I’m sorry." he said and I could tell he really was.

Long story short, as a result of the events of Wednesday before last, I am the proud owner of a brand new pair of black and white Puma flip flops that I paid a whapping $16.97 at the foot locker in the practically empty shopping mall down town.

I hear the question you are thinking right now. "Lili, how on earth did you make it to the mall?" Well ... I was carried. No I'm serious!!! Rodney felt so bad about breaking my shoe and making me stand on the nasty floor of the forum that he carried me the four city blocks between the arena and the footlocker to procure a new pair of shoes. All I can say is… I guess we are even.

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!