Elevator Poot!!! - December 2008

Note to Reader: There are some things you just shouldn't do... This is one of them!

Additional Note to Reader: This subject, as my parents would tell me when I was little, is not conversation for the dinner table. My response was and still is, "It depends upon whose dinner table you are eating..." But I digress. ..

A couple of days ago I was returning from my last meeting before leaving for the weekend. The meeting had been on the 5th floor, and I was standing in the elevator lobby waiting with one other person, we’ll call him “B”, to be picked up and returned to our respective floors. The bell rings, the doors slide open and three men hurry out laughing. One wave to me and smiled and I recognized him as the manager of one of my good friends. I said “hey”, waved back and then followed “B” onto the elevator. We pressed our floors, his B2 and mine Lobby and just before the doors slid shut we saw those three men, still laughing, turn to take the stairs. We looked at each other in confusion, but in less than a moment we realized what we’d stepped in to… LITERALLY!!!

Instinctively, we both cupped our free hands over our nose and mouth. Without thinking I pressed the button for the 3rd floor.

“This is just WRONG!!!” - “B” said.

All I could do was nod my head in agreement as my eyes began to water. It was AWFUL!!!

FINALLY the doors slowly opened onto the 3rd floor and we tumbled out, and before the woman waiting had the chance to enter the car, “B” put his hand on her shoulder, looked her straight in the face and said “You’re gonna want to take the next one.” She nodded somewhat bewildered. “Trust me,” he said, and repeated “You’re gonna want to take the next one.” I’m sure that woman will never understand the full extent of what “B” did for her that day, but let this be a lesson to others.

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR POOT ON AN ELEVATOR FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DEAL WITH!!!

Those guys getting off the elevator knew good and well what they’d done. That’s why they were laughing when they made their speedy escape. How hard would it have been to say “Stan pooted in that one you may want to take the stairs”? Or, they could have blamed it on someone else if that floated their boats. “Someone, which definitely wasn’t one of us, pooted on that elevator. For your own health and safety, do not go in there.” How hard would it have been to give a little Public Service Announcement?

We have these things at work called ERT codes standing for Emergency Response Team where they get on the loud speaker and say “E.R.T. Code – Whatever (number one through 10) ---”. Some codes mean someone has collapsed. Some are just a test. There are all sorts. Then someone on the Emergency Response Team does what is needed to fix the emergency. There should be an E.R.T Code for this sort of thing, because let me tell you… or do I even have to, Poot and runs should be against the law!

Till next time!
Bon Voyage