Jan 30, 2013

"You'll Just Know" - Baltimore, MD. - January 2013

Since I got pregnant with E, not so long ago, there has been a certain 3 word phrase that truly sends chills down my spine and makes me want to grind my teeth.

"You'll just know..."

It was the response to some of the most important questions I asked as a mother to be.
"How do we know we've chosen the right name?"
"How do I know when I'm in labor?"
"How do I know if she's crying because she's a baby or if something else is wrong?"

These days I have been struggling a lot with that inevitable 2&1/2 year old question.
"When should we potty train?" and "How do I know she's ready to be potty trained?"

Unfortunately, the answer is the same and just as ambiguous and frustrating!

The thing is we call her a different name than we gave her (this actually goes for both of our girls), and with MJ I thought for certain I was in labor and the hospital sent me home. I was so afraid to go back and get sent home again that I probably waited too long which may have added to the stress of that whole situation, and E cried so much as a baby because she had bi lateral inguinal hernias that we didn't know about for the first 8 weeks of her life. So that little 3 word answer to those oh so important questions was a load of CRAP. I didn't know!

I don't know why people say this. it isn't reassuring and it just makes me feel like a bad mother when these situations come and go and I once again DIDN'T know!

We have one failed attempt under our belt which I'll write about later, but I am starting to feel the pressure to try again. There is a whispering in my ear that says look around you all the kids her age are potty trained or on their way. You are a failure if your child is still in diapers at 3 years old, especially since she was so close on your first attempt. The truth of the matter is that I feel her failures as my fault, and my failure. I wasn't patient enough, I didn't approach it with enough grace, I quit, I failed her.

So here i sit in my "unknowingness" (if that's even a word) dreading POTTY TRAINING! Not knowing if she's ready and not knowing when to try again. So I'll ask you this as humbly and honestly as I am able. How did you potty train? and How did you know they were ready?

Till next time,
Bon Voyage!


Starr said...

I waited until my children told me they were ready. So I spared myself months (or even years) of "training" and accidents. Took less than a week with my two eldest. My 2 year old has talked about being ready, but then he doesn't commit, so we're not there yet.

Katie Bel was 4, and Winslow was 2.5, so you just never know.

Amy Ogles said...

I strongly recommend the book PottyWise for Toddlers by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. I used their approach for both my kids and it worked great. They give you criteria to look for to know if your child is ready. Caden was almost 26 months and we just did it with Avery Lynn and she is doing great (at 24 months). Good Luck! You can do it!

yuan family said...

I wouldn't worry too much (or at least that is what I am telling myself!). Halle is nowhere near ready and I'm just waiting for her to be ready to even start. I ask her everyday if she wants to go on the potty and am thinking one day she will say yes! At least, lets hope so!

Melanie Francisco said...

First, stop dreading the potty training. Once the kid figures out how good it feels to be clean, they train pretty quickly. Second, nobody is going to care when they are in college if they potty trained at 2 or 4. Third, this is something you dad told me when my kids were born and it's the best advice I've ever recieved...Each age has its challenges and each age has its rewards. Just take it as it comes.